*Warning*
The views expressed
here-in are extreme,
but for your benefit.
If you think this blog post is going to be about something yummy, like cake or brownies, now is probably going to be the best time for you to stop reading and find something else to look at. Maybe some pictures of kittens who can't spell, but what they say is irresistibly cute? Or perhaps the latest meme on YouTube if that's your fancy.
Still here?
Huh... Well don't say I didn't warn you.
If you've read my previous blogs, you ought to know by now what to expect. If not and this is your first post; please stop here and check the others out.
Okay, so I need to get something off of my chest here. You see, it's not something that I can talk about at work, nor is it something that I can mention to those offenders I'm going to be talking about. You see, when I am at work, this is something that I just have to 'put up with', so long as the offender in question is a paying customer.
So what is the big deal here? What is it that this 'offender' is guilty of?
Alright, you asked for it. Don't say that I didn't warn you...because I did. And if you continue reading this and find yourself traumatize, disgusted, or ruined for any future posts...well, that's on you, pal.
***
So listen up, you nasty people out there. You know who you are.
Throwing on some baby powder before leaving the house does NOT fucking constitute as 'freshening up'!
You're not fooling anybody. You're not getting rid of the smell either. You see, these bad smells that you're trying to cover up are caused by physical things, mostly fluids, but things nonetheless.
That's right. I can still smell that crap.
And let me tell you something. When I'm down on the floor at work, and I'm stocking merchandise onto the shelves, I can always tell who you people are the very second you step into my aisle.
That's right. I can smell the baby powder from that far away.
No, I didn't just prove YOUR point. Just shut up and let me finish what I'm writing.
You see, I DO smell the baby powder as you step into my aisle. But(t), the closer you get to me, the more I get from that underlying awfulness that you are trying to cover up.
You're unwashed asses, your unwashed bodies, the combination of those together or with the scent of your last fornication. Oh god yes, I can smell ALL of that, and the fact that you think you are getting rid of that by splashing yourself with baby powder is laughable. It's disgusting that you think you can get away with it.
"But I'm only going to be in the store for a few minutes," is not an excuse, because I'm left with that smell for three to ten times longer than you were in my aisle.
Come on people.
I can take a shower in seven minutes in a pinch. Just get in and apply some soap in the problem areas and get out. That much alone will save me and dozens of other people the discomfort of having to smell your rotten ass!
Don't know what your problem areas are?
Let me give you fucking hint.
Your genitals.
Your underarms.
Your ass.
Take care of those three and I promise you this;
I will refrain from wrinkling my nose at you.
I will look at you when I talk to you, instead of looking around for the nearest route of escape.
I will devote your time to you in order to best help care for your needs.
It's not hard people. Like I said, I can do it in less than ten minutes.
Just get in and wash the flipping stink off.
And if you want to tell me that you don't have water, that it's shut off, or that you can't afford or don't have soap, I can also tell you this in return;
Return the goddamn chips and candy.
Buy some scented wipes instead of powder.
Alternatively, buy some bottled water if you don't have running water at home.
There are many other ways to save your money to make cleaning up possible.
But when I see you coming down my aisle, stinking up my work area and pushing a shopping cart full of junk food, soda, movies and other miscellaneous crap when you should obviously be buying something for your personal hygiene, you best just not expect me to be on my best behavior.
And if it seems like I'm preaching from atop a pedestal, if you think that I don't have any experience with this or that I'm just on a high horse and that I shouldn't be judging people, just hold on a damn second there hoss.
I DO have some experience with finding ways to keep clean, despite a terrible situation.
Over a decade ago, I found myself living on the streets for a short period of time. While on an extended road trip, the vehicle I was driving broke down and I didn't have the money to get it fixed. Not having a way to get any money, said vehicle became a temporary home until I was able to pander enough to do so. During that time, I FOUND ways to keep clean. It was bad enough that I had suddenly become homeless, but I wasn't going to become the .001% of society that lives in the dregs of society.
With a small amount of change, I was able to wash a couple pairs of clothes each week, get a small amount of food to eat AND get myself cleaned up as well!
I know that if I can give up junk food, soda, cigarettes, alcohol and countless other things that you people take luxuriously, that it IS possible and that there IS time (as well as a way) to do it as well!
Clean your nasty asses up people. Do society a favor and try to show yourself a little self respect for Christ's sake!
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