Well Duh, Isn't It Obvious?

By now, you've probably got a pretty good feel for what to expect out of my blogs.  I tend to talk a lot about the things that are going on in my life, or about the things that are around me.  You've seen me get excited, you've seen me get a little foul and you've heard me tell it like it is.

Am I right?

Sure, why not.  Let's just agree to disagree and move along, right?

I've been trying to think of something productive to do with my writing...er, my spare writing, that will help get my work noticed.

What's that you ask?  What do I mean by 'spare' writing?

Okay, well let me clear that little twist of terminology up for you real quick then.  It's not like I have a bunch of work laying around just collecting dust or anything.  Well, okay, I take that back.  I do have almost half a dozen short stories that I've been working on, which are finished, but those are spoken for.  No, what I mean by 'spare writing', are the excerpts from other stories or other, smaller bodies of work that don't fit in with what I'm doing at the moment.

They could even be something that's specially tailored for what I have in mind.

So..

What is it that I have in mind?

I was thinking of putting something, much what like I just described, right here in these blogs!

By now you already know that I'm using this (blog) as a medium to hone my writing skills.  In the very least I want to keep in practice between stories.  Yeah, yeah...  You know that already.  And why not?  I've mentioned it at least once in every blog post thus far.

So...  What do you think?  Does this sound like a good idea?

Yeah, me too.

Now, I do still plan on using this blog as I have been up to this point...  There WILL be times when I have something on my mind and I need to vent, so you can expect those to pop up every now again again.

Tell you what...  I'll make it easy on you.  When I'm writing fiction here, I'll do it something like this;

A Tale to Tell

By; R. Richardsson

     Once upon a time, in a blog far, far away.  There was a writer who told it like it was.  Every few days, and sometimes even as far as a week apart, he would make a lengthy post containing various thoughts and ideals.  He never wrote on the blog regularly, as his schedule didn't often allow enough time for him to, but when he did, the posts were written with the same care that he would show his first drafts.

     One day, while promoting his book on Twitter and working on an outline for a short story, he came up with an idea that would get his work recognized by curious readers for free.  He became obsessed with the idea.  It was a good idea, you see, and he knew that if he played his cards right, he would be able to draw attention to his already published work.
     So he finished his outline, he tweeted his last tweet and he went to his blog, where he began to writing a post about his brilliant idea.  Would it pan out?  Would his reader(s) love his idea?  Only time will tell this tale.


So tell me; what do you think?  Obviously, the mock story I just shared with you is a bit short, but I think it was enough to give you a good idea, right?  When inspiration strikes, or if I pull bits out of my already complete work, I thought that I might just share them here as a blog post!

This is, after all, my own little world where I can work on improving my work, so, why not just make it an author blog and call it a day?

Sure, why not indeed.

There you have it then, case closed.  From here on out I'll be peppering this blog with various bits of fiction, fantasy and the horror fiction that I have already worked with in 'The Rise and Fall of John Rizzerio'.  

Will there be foul language?  Sure.  Some of my more graphic work contains foul language.  What about graphic violence?  Yep.  I'm totally going to get into that as well.  This isn't to say that all of my work will contain this more adult oriented material.  I'm currently in the process of expanding my skills as a writer by exploring more diverse ways of telling my tales.  After all, I can't always write for just one audience, right?

(Well, maybe if my foray into horror fiction really takes off I can, but I'm not buttering my bread just yet on that one.)

Why then, didn't I think of this before?  I mean; "Duh!  Isn't it obvious?"  I should have been doing this from the start!

What's that?  One quick question before I go?

Sure thing.  I think I can do that for you.

You want to know what I meant about the stories that are spoken for?  Ah yes, my short stories.  Well now... THOSE are reserved for publishing, which I plan to do real soon.  I have a couple of favorites that I'm going to scrutinize with a critical eye, rework and edit if necessary and then send to a few magazines in hope of getting them published.  The others, (and the latter mentioned, should they not get published where I want them) will go into a collection that I plan to release upon the completion of the 'Ballad of John Rizzerio' trilogy that I'm currently working on, which should be sometime between May and the middle of June of 2013.

That all you needed?  Good deal.

Well then.  Thanks for stopping in on me today and I hope that you enjoyed our little talk today?
*laughs*  Very well then.  Until next time...

Just a Little Piece, That's All

*Warning*  

The views expressed 

here-in are extreme, 

but for your benefit.

If you think this blog post is going to be about something yummy, like cake or brownies, now is probably going to be the best time for you to stop reading and find something else to look at.  Maybe some pictures of kittens who can't spell, but what they say is irresistibly cute?  Or perhaps the latest meme on YouTube if that's your fancy.

Still here?  

Huh...  Well don't say I didn't warn you.  

If you've read my previous blogs, you ought to know by now what to expect.  If not and this is your first post; please stop here and check the others out.

Okay, so I need to get something off of my chest here.  You see, it's not something that I can talk about at work, nor is it something that I can mention to those offenders I'm going to be talking about.  You see, when I am at work, this is something that I just have to 'put up with', so long as the offender in question is a paying customer.

So what is the big deal here?  What is it that this 'offender' is guilty of?

Alright, you asked for it.  Don't say that I didn't warn you...because I did.  And if you continue reading this and find yourself traumatize, disgusted, or ruined for any future posts...well, that's on you, pal.  

***

So listen up, you nasty people out there.  You know who you are.

Throwing on some baby powder before leaving the house does NOT fucking constitute as 'freshening up'!  

You're not fooling anybody.  You're not getting rid of the smell either.  You see, these bad smells that you're trying to cover up are caused by physical things, mostly fluids, but things nonetheless.

That's right.  I can still smell that crap. 

And let me tell you something.  When I'm down on the floor at work, and I'm stocking merchandise onto the shelves, I can always tell who you people are the very second you step into my aisle.

That's right.  I can smell the baby powder from that far away.  

No, I didn't just prove YOUR point.  Just shut up and let me finish what I'm writing.

You see, I DO smell the baby powder as you step into my aisle.  But(t), the closer you get to me, the more I get from that underlying awfulness that you are trying to cover up.

You're unwashed asses, your unwashed bodies, the combination of those together or with the scent of your last fornication.  Oh god yes, I can smell ALL of that, and the fact that you think you are getting rid of that by splashing yourself with baby powder is laughable.  It's disgusting that you think you can get away with it.  

"But I'm only going to be in the store for a few minutes," is not an excuse, because I'm left with that smell for three to ten times longer than you were in my aisle.  

Come on people.

I can take a shower in seven minutes in a pinch.  Just get in and apply some soap in the problem areas and get out.  That much alone will save me and dozens of other people the discomfort of having to smell your rotten ass!

Don't know what your problem areas are?  

Let me give you fucking hint.

Your genitals.
Your underarms.
Your ass.

Take care of those three and I promise you this;
I will refrain from wrinkling my nose at you.
I will look at you when I talk to you, instead of looking around for the nearest route of escape.
I will devote your time to you in order to best help care for your needs.

It's not hard people.  Like I said, I can do it in less than ten minutes.

Just get in and wash the flipping stink off.

And if you want to tell me that you don't have water, that it's shut off, or that you can't afford or don't have soap, I can also tell you this in return;

Return the goddamn chips and candy.
Buy some scented wipes instead of powder.
Alternatively, buy some bottled water if you don't have running water at home.

There are many other ways to save your money to make cleaning up possible. 

But when I see you coming down my aisle, stinking up my work area and pushing a shopping cart full of junk food, soda, movies and other miscellaneous crap when you should obviously be buying something for your personal hygiene, you best just not expect me to be on my best behavior.

And if it seems like I'm preaching from atop a pedestal, if you think that I don't have any experience with this or that I'm just on a high horse and that I shouldn't be judging people, just hold on a damn second there hoss. 

I DO have some experience with finding ways to keep clean, despite a terrible situation.  

Over a decade ago, I found myself living on the streets for a short period of time.  While on an extended road trip, the vehicle I was driving broke down and I didn't have the money to get it fixed.  Not having a way to get any money, said vehicle became a temporary home until I was able to pander enough to do so.  During that time, I FOUND ways to keep clean.  It was bad enough that I had suddenly become homeless, but I wasn't going to become the .001% of society that lives in the dregs of society.

With a small amount of change, I was able to wash a couple pairs of clothes each week, get a small amount of food to eat AND get myself cleaned up as well!

I know that if I can give up junk food, soda, cigarettes, alcohol and countless other things that you people take luxuriously, that it IS possible and that there IS time (as well as a way) to do it as well!

Clean your nasty asses up people.  Do society a favor and try to show yourself a little self respect for Christ's sake!